AIDS
by Yamchas Big Pants
Summary: Kurt Wagner finds out that as a result of Magneto's experimentation he has contracted HIV. How will Nightcrawler cope? Will the X-men ever be the same? Contains strong issues.


Tears leaked from between long dark lashes surrounding eyes that did not want to open. Yet reluctantly they did, unfocused, distant, their use lost in this moment of pain.

"When did this happen?"

Gold irises gripping the pupils almost painfully flicked down in silent anguish to the piece of paper in his tri-fingered grasp.

"When did it happen?"

Kitty shifted somewhere on the other side of the room, disturbed by the edge to his voice. The garish florescent lighting hummed overhead, deafening. A large drop of salted water exploded on the creamy paper as it landed.

"It was when…wasn't it?"

In a fevered emotional response, the boy ripped the paper in a flurry of anger, disappearing in an evanescence of brimstone and sulphur.

"Professor? What do we do?" Scott Summers asked, lost for a moment in hopelessness. As mutants they had learned to exist with that feeling all of the time, but even in that blackness they still had faith. What faith could rescue them from this?

Staring blankly, so unnatural for the intellectual brow, he shook his head slightly. "Scott, I don't have the answer"

Outside, three quarters of a mile from the institute a quarry was silent for the night. JCBs, cranes and conveyor belts sat in uninterrupted rest, deaf to the unusual sound of time popping around them; such a soft, comforting noise. Atop a scaffold, the arched form of the Nightcrawler perched. His posture slumped and his breathing was ragged, not finding enough grief within himself to explain the horrific pain he endured. Gripping the nearest pole, he fostered it like a person, holding it against his body as though it were the only thing keeping him alive. Great wrenching sobs escaped his throat, leaving ripping pains in his chest. Mutation carried risks; it had not been the choice of the parents nor the child to run those risks. However like so many other things in life, these risks were not optional for anyone, they were determined at birth, for most. Kurt biting his bottom lip in order not to cough and begin the degenerative process again, pierced the skin and tasted the iron of his own blood. It was not in his nature to question or challenge things that already were or couldn't be stopped. He had accepted long ago that to do so was pointless. His only consolation had been to believe that no matter how bad things were; there was a reason. There was someone watching over. But in this state of mind, rational thinking and patience gave way to panic and fear.

It was only a cold, that's all. It had spread through his chest and he had developed a cough. That was four months ago. At Christmas they all had it. By February Kurt was the only one still coughing and sneezing. He couldn't shift it. He was healthy enough; Muscular and energetic for a seventeen year old, athletic and strong. By the end of March there was not one part of his life the cold did not destroy. Xavier had him sent to specialist facilities and had samples of his red blood taken. Kurt couldn't believe it. It was only a cold, one stupid little cold. How could this have come from a cold? He wished he hadn't ripped up the results. Maybe he had read it wrong.

No white blood cells. No way to prevent infection. No way to heal. No way to get better. No way to grow. No way to love. No way to touch. No way to… With the grief drained from him, the cursed young man all but dripped from the scaffolding. There was nothing now. Nothing but death and anger and pain and endless nothingness. He didn't know what he believed now. Self pity was so easy to fall into. Yet he felt justified. He felt as though he might break even if someone put a hand on him, yet he wanted it-no needed it. He needed to be among people. His mutation had ostracized him from society, from humanity-but this-this would keep all life from him. All love and affection and hospitality and care would be lost to him forever.

There was no cure and never would be. It ate away at you, destroyed you from the inside. Made your body your worst enemy. Robbed you of your control. Stole your freedom, chained you in unmovable positions…It killed you, slowly, slowly, painful.

HIV. Those three harsh letters spelled doom for him. It was his end. There was so much he had never been able to do; things his heart yearned for. These things had seemed impossible because of his mutation, but now he would have laughed at his previous fear of rejection if he didn't feel so doomed and utterly desolate. It had happened before he even had any memory. Magneto's experiments; he had contracted this…this…disease from whatever Magneto had done to him all those years ago.

A small breeze picked up and played with limp tendrils of Kurt's indigo hair, escaping his attention in these mournful moments. Storm landed gently on the iron beam beside him. She hung back timidly, desperate to approach her young student but fearing she might break him if she did.

"Kurt?" her voice was soft and comforting. With a sniff from his running nose Kurt acknowledged her presence. With a now habitual action, he wiped at his swollen nose with his wrist, the fur glistening with moisture. Storm shifted her weight. "Kurt…" She was at a loss. She had absolutely no idea how to console him, what to say or do to comfort him. With the tenderness of a mother but the courage of a lion, Ororo bridged the gap and reached out for the broken soul at her fingertips. Enveloping him in her arms, she felt his lithe frame shudder against her, accepting the hug with a mix of confusing emotions.

Kurt wept bitterly and passionately. Fear, anger, vulnerability were the emotions which exhausted Kurt and shorted his circuits. Feeling the teenager's tense frame go limp in her arms Ororo fought the lump gathering her throat and bundling him up in her arms, lifted him into the night.

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Kurt's eyes rebelled against the harsh morning light. In his sleep he was as he had been. A freak yes, but a happy freak. With the light came the harshness of the truth and the young mutant felt his stomach flip in disgust. Turning on his side he curled into a ball, forcing the evil of the virus into himself. Kurt, the Christian knew more than most of hell prayed for the rapture to deliver him of this affliction.

Kitty Pride stood awkwardly in her pyjamas before Kurt's door. Rubbing her left foot over the calf of her right, she wriggled her toes. The doorknob looked more daunting than she would ever have imagined. She would just knock and tell Kurt that the past aside if he ever needed anything, even just a shoulder to cry on, he could count on her Okay, fine, ready?...Why was it so difficult? Was it because she felt so guilty about keeping him at arms length when he had been healthy, and now that he wasn't she surely couldn't be near him? She knew she had to try and make it up to him, but how? Feeling completely useless she slowly walked away from the door; backing down this time, but not to be so easily put off next time.

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As Scott's red dodge viper pulled into the Bayville High student parking lot, Kitty and Evan sat in silence, sorely missing the ambient presence of the Nightcrawler between them. Jean caught them in her peripheral vision. The latest episode had completely drained her as an empathic. Scott cut the engine and everyone sat for a few moments in silence only the muted voices of the other kids gathering for school provided noise.

Finally, Evan spoke up "…so…what do we say?"

Scott sighed, the same thought had obviously been pouring over in his head also. "Well…nothing…the Prof has already contacted Principle Kelly…I dunno if Kurt will be allowed back to school. But as for everyone else…I dunno"

Jean rested a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I think we just avoid saying anything until we find out the long term implications."

"So what do I tell Amanda?" Kitty asked frustration lilting her voice into the tones of an oh-so annoying mall-chick. "That Kurt's **still **off with the cold?"

Jean shrugged her shoulders lightly. "I guess"

Kitty frowned "You guess?" Sighing she hopped out of the car and headed towards the main building with Evan close behind. He took her wrist in his hand.

"Look Kitty, I know it's difficult to accept it, but don't take it out on Jean. She just doesn't know what to do" Looking at him, Kitty rolled her eyes

"You're right Evan, look, apologise for me, I gotta get to class" She said excusing herself. Evan nodded and headed in the direction of his own.

She didn't know why she was angry at Jean, maybe it was her frustration at her own conduct. When they got the news of Kurt's diagnosis, she had just sat there shocked, not knowing what to do, seeing a side of Kurt she didn't know he possessed. But even now what could she do to help him? There was no cure, that was certain and she knew that would be the only thing on Kurt's mind. Would he want to go home to Germany to be with his parents in his final time? Final time? What was she saying? This was her friend Kurt, she couldn't imagine a life where he didn't exist, where he wasn't there as part of the group. Then it hit her, she had been walking along all this time taking the whole world around her for granted. She knew she had to grow up and go on to university, but it had never occurred to her that she would ever do anything but be an X-man and live at the institute. How many of them would be gone before she had grown to a woman? Kitty shook the thoughts from her mind as she collided with the broad chest of her on-off boyfriend, Lance Alvers.

"Hey Pretty Kitty, didn't see me there huh?" She said smugly leaning against the drinks machine in the hallway. He watched rather lewdly as Kitty picked herself of the ground.

"Yeah something like that Lance" She said sourly, shooting him an aggravated glance. His face straightened.

"Hey Kitty, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know" Kitty felt a smile tug the corners of her mouth. Lance noticed her reaction and stood squarely in front of her, a smile playing his lips as he leant forward to kiss her. Kitty backed away slightly, feeling bad about behaving like this while Kurt was at home breaking his heart. Lance squinted at her.

"What's with that?" he asked bitterly.

Looking at her feet sadly, she sighed. "I'm sorry lance, it's just…well we just found out that Kurt's got HIV, and I can't help thinking about him. It doesn't feel right when I just found out my friend can't even have a girlfriend" Lance's eyebrows nearly reached his hairline.

"You're kidding? Right?" He asked, feeling a guffaw in his throat. Kitty just shook her head sadly. His face straightened. "That's terrible Kitty, I'm so sorry. I mean I never liked the guy much, but he didn't deserve that."

Kitty looked up urgently into his face, knowing she had just broken the agreement they had made earlier this morning. "Lance you wont tell anyone will you? Promise me? If you do Kurt might never be able to come back to school and he would be so embarrassed!"

Lance stroked her cheek tenderly. "'Course not Pretty Kitty. I promise I won't tell anyone, it's just between you and me" Then the period bell rang.

Kitty smiled up into her boyfriend's attractive brown eyes. "Thanks Lance" She planted a small kiss on his lips and ran off to class.

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Amanda Sefton accepted the glass of fruit juice the lunchlady placed on her tray, and turned around to scan the lunchroom. Her soft brown eyes darted about looking for the unusual shade of indigo she had become so used to. She'd called the institute last night but there had been no answer and no answer when she'd tried Kurt's room. It wasn't that she was worried, but there was something not quite right, even Kurt's friends had ignored her for the most part today. She spotted Jean and Kitty entering together and made a beeline for them.

"Uh Jean, Kitty?" Amanda asked quietly.

Jean spun around "Oh, hi Amanda" Her reply was equally as quiet.

"Uh….Where's Kurt today, I tried to call last night, but I guess you guys were busy huh?"

Kitty and Jean looked at one another "Yeah busy, we were" Said Kitty, kicking herself for sounding like Yoda.

"Oh?"

"Yeah"

There was an awkward silence.

"So what about Kurt?" Amanda asked, her tray shaking a little in her hands; she knew they were definitely keeping something from her.

"Oh, he wasn't feeling too good today, it's that cold!" Kitty chuckled uneasily; she wasn't really lying.

"Oh, so he'll be back tomorrow?" The young woman enquired further making Jean and Kitty more uncomfortable.

Jean jumped in before Kitty could blurt anything out "Well, we'll see how he's feeling first, hey we've gotta get to lunch. We'll see you later Amanda!" They were gone before Amanda could say anything else.

To tell the truth her pride was a little bruised. What could she possibly have done to offend them so? And Kurt. What did she do to get this brush off? Staring sadly she let her eyes wander until they settled on a figure sitting in the shade of a tree outside. Placing down her lunch tray she made for the exit.

A ravenous Freddy, a.k.a the Blob, grabbed the tray as soon as he saw it lying unattended. Sniffing it he made a face. Vegetarian! With a shrug of his shoulders he slid the contents of the tray down his gullet and finished with a loud burp before heading for the food counter. Behind him Lance, Pietro and Toad slunk into the room. Pietro glanced around edgily, a mischievous smirk on his face. He noted the X men and their missing member.

"Hey hey!" Lance grunted as Pietro elbowed him in the ribs. "Where's the fuzzball?"

Lance looked over dimly. "Oh, Kurt? He's ill."

"Ill? What do you mean ill? We had a fight with them a few days ago, is it contagious? Am I gonna get it?" He said with his characteristic speed.

Lance smirked "Nope not unless you're doing him" Pietro made a disgusted face. A list of STDs appeared in his brain.

"You're kidding me! Little bible thumper Nightsprawler's got the clap?!"

"No!" Lance smacked him on the back of the head. "He's got HIV, but don't tell anyone I promised Kitty"

Toad leapt into the conversation "No way! Blue Boy's got AIDs?? Wait'll everybody finds outta 'bout that!"

Lance grabbed Todd by the neck of his t-shirt "No!" He snarled through clenched teeth. "I promised Kitty I wouldn't tell anyone, you squeal and I break your neck!"

Toad squirmed his way out of the strangling grasp "Hey cool it! I ain't gonna squeal! Man!"

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Rogue sat on the grass in the shade of a large oak tree in the school yard. One arm propped up on her knees, she stared analytically at the grass in front of her. She thought about Kurt. She had lived her whole life knowing that no one would ever understand how she felt; what it was like being separated from human contact by nothing but your own biology. Her prayers had been answered though; there was now someone to share her pain and understand what she was going through…but it pained her even more when it had become a reality. Kurt was like a brother to her. She cared more about him than anyone else in the whole world and if anyone understood how he felt it was she. She just wished she could have stayed at home with him, he needed someone there with him, not just Ororo, Logan and the Professor. Her thoughts were interrupted by a shadow falling over the grass at which she stared. Glancing up she recognised the figure as Kurt's girlfriend and felt an unwelcome confrontation coming on.

"Hi Rogue…uh how's Kurt doing?"

She felt the girl's anxiety and worry dampen the very air around them.

"Ah he ain't doin' too well" Rogue said placing her head against the solid trunk of the tree. Amanda's face fell.

"Look Rogue, please just tell me what's going on…it's not really the cold is it? Why's he brushing me off?"

Rogue rose to her feet and stalked away. "You'll have to find out from him"

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Kurt slurped quietly at his carrot and coriander soup, feeling weaker than a rubber band. Ororo stared on sadly. The only sound emanating from the room was the low volume on Kurt's CD player and quiet ticking of the alarm clock. Half way through a spoonful Kurt's lungs erupted in a fit of coughing, the result of which tipped the plate of soup over his bedclothes. Ororo leapt to his side rubbing his wracking back and comforting him. As the coughing ebbed, Kurt's form quivered in her grasp as she helped him lie down she then stripped the top layers of covers as Kurt pulled the rest around himself.

"I'm sorry Ororo" He whispered, his voice dry and sore. She tamed the frizzy hair at his ear and tucked it behind the point of the lobe. The dark circles around his eyes were the tell-tale signs of his exhaustion. His breathing was shallow and entered through his mouth as his nose was still blocked. Ororo's tender smiled slipped and the terror and fear she felt was so clear on her face. Kurt couldn't fight this, they had to help him and soon.

As Storm turned to walk away she noticed Kitty in the doorway. "Hello kitty, Kurt's tired right now, you can come back and speak to him later" Kitty shifted nervously.

"Actually Ororo, can I just sit with him? I mean I wont wake him up I just want to be near him."

Ororo looked at her long and hard, before smiling. "Alright Kitty but try not to breathe directly on him or touch him; his immune system hardly functions now, so he can't fight off any bacteria you might be carrying."

Kitty nodded looking a little frightened. She couldn't believe how thin he looked as she approached the bed. His hair was limp and his eyes slightly sunken with exhaustion. He was a shell of his former self, except for the playful little fang which glinted as he breathed. Kitty reached out but drew her hand back as though she'd been burnt. She was glad Ororo hadn't been here to see that. Settling down in the chair, she noticed Kurt's tail dangling from the bottom of the bed. Smiling sadly she tucked it back under the covers. This small action caused Kurt to stir slightly in his shallow sleep. Gold eyes fluttered open and focused slowly on Kitty.

"Hey fuzzy elf," She spoke softly "How are you?"

Kurt smiled tiredly. "Hey Katzchen. I'm just tired" He croaked. "But all the better for seeing you"

Kitty smiled although the lump in her throat had regrouped and was forcing its way up. She just wanted to hug him and make it all better again, but she knew that would probably do more harm than good. "shoosh, you get some sleep, you need your strength" She cooed him to lie his head down.

He sighed miserably "Yeah you're right…good night…Kit..ty" He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

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Kitty was awoken by a gentle nudging. Opening her eyes she was greeted by Logan's strong eyes. "Mr Logan?" She asked sleepily rubbing her eyes. The Professor and Storm were also there, looking concerned and surrounding Kurt's bed. A medical box was opened on a chair at the foot of the bed. Kitty sat bolt upright. "What's going on? What's happening to Kurt?"

Logan shook her gently. "Half Pint, it's okay, we're just giving Kurt some antibiotics"

Kitty panicked "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I touched his tail, it fell out of the covers and I put it back in, please don't say he's gotten worse, oh please no, I'm sorry!" Kitty wailed quietly.

Wolverine knelt to her height at the chair. "Kitty! Calm down, we're just giving him them to fight the cold, it's got nothing to do with you touching his tail"

Kitty's eyes filled up instantaneously and she flung herself onto Logan's shoulder, crying with relief. She suddenly straightened up. "But, Mr Logan, won't that mean that there's a chance that another virus or illness could create a resistance to the antibiotics?"

Logan looked dumbfounded for a second "Uh…yeah there's a high risk of that, but if Kurt's gonna get better from this cold, he needs a hand." Kitty nodded, understanding the reasons and the sticky situation they were in. She yawned unwillingly. "Okay off to bed Miss Pride" He commanded.

"No, no can I stay please I won't make a noise I just wanna stay with him" Logan smirked and nodded.

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Once the drugs had been administered, the Professor placed a cool hand over Kurt's forehead as he eased back into a light sleep. "The drugs should start to take effect in a matter of hours; hopefully that small dose should be enough to lift the severity of the cold from Kurt's chest. We'll just have to wait and see if what little's left of Kurt's own immune system fights the rest off."

"What chance does he have Chuck?" Logan asked seriously.

The Professor sighed, massaging his temples. "Let me just say this; we'd better make arrangements for his parents to come over here, at the very least for this short period." The faces of his staff showed that they understood his meaning.

Logan frowned deeply. Grief: he had experienced so much of it in his life and yet never managed to harden himself to it. Who knows how the kid felt? Turning to the chair, he found Kitty asleep, her head bowed forward and her hands limp in her lap. The smallest hint of a smile in his eyes; Logan look her tenderly in his arms and carried her to her own room.

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Three weeks had passed. Kurt's condition got steadily better until it had all but vanished. Kitty was a regular visitor to his room, bringing him work from school, cards from people who knew he was unwell, though what from they didn't know. Kurt began to get up and walk around a little, but he was forbidden from teleporting, he suspected forever. Depression was his constant state – yet another illness he would have to receive treatment for. The truth was, even though his days might be limited, that wasn't what delved his soul into darkness. It was his sheer loneliness. He prayed constantly for a cure, so fervourently in fact that he was sure that the Lord would grant his heart's desire, after all how could something like that not be in his will? But as of yet, he hadn't felt filled with the spirit or even in its presence. He felt abandoned. To add to that he was only allowed to see his friends very briefly and after they had showered and redressed. They didn't seem to really want to see him anyway. He'd listen and sometimes watch as they trained outside with Logan and wished for once in his life that he could join them. The only thing he had to look forward to would be Kitty's visits. He felt a little guilty that he hadn't told Amanda about this but he was always too afraid to tell her. However keeping her in the dark could only push her away; then again he'd have to push her away when she knew. He wasn't ready for that yet.

His only really company was that of Ororo, Logan or the Professor. Ororo tried to engage him, played board games with him, watched T.V with him, helped him with school work and did crafts and things. Sure it kept his hands busy but never really his mind. Logan was a different matter. He'd tell him what had been going on with the rest of the students, what the Brotherhood were up to etc all of the current affairs, but then usually fall asleep. He'd wake up and look a little embarrassed. The Professor wanted him to work, work, work. To keep his physical fitness up, he was to start attending gym sessions with Logan and Ororo everyday. Nothing strenuous, he was told, just enough to tone existing muscles back up and try and slowly increase his immune system. He was also to start a course of vaccinations against Hepatitis, Pneumonia, Influenza and Diphtheria. The Professor told him that they would probably leave him tired, sore and possibly feeling a little sick, but they were essential to build up his immune system and protect him against potentially lethal infections and diseases. There was however a small risk that he may contract one of the diseases from his vaccine, but they would do everything they could to prevent that. He had been assured that everything looked good because his T-cell count was high enough to sustain a building up of his immune system.

Really it was all too much for him. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up again with his parents back in Germany. Oh how he needed to see them badly. He missed them so much, and although he was a seventeen year old boy, he needed his mother's comforting embrace more than any vaccine. But what would they think? The professor would have to explain to them the reason for his contracting the disease. He didn't sleep around, he didn't do drugs…it was a simply that a monster had experimented on their little Kurt when he was a baby, using unscreened blood from other mutants that potentially could have carried a host of other blood diseases, and the HIV virus had little by little eaten away at his immune system weakening it over the years. Would that put their minds at rest? He'd have been as well taking drugs!

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Rogue stepped gingerly into Kurt's room as she did most nights after everyone else had fallen asleep, even Kurt. She looked down at the figure beneath the covers and felt the same tear trickle down her cheek. She had had an argument with Logan about Kurt. He'd told her that Kurt wanted to start going back to school, she knew that of course, but Logan was adamant that it was a bad idea. Rogue had ranted on that Kurt should live whatever life he has left to the full. The kitchen table had gone very quiet everyone looking around them awkwardly. It had angered her. Why couldn't any of them stick up for him? It was because they were all too afraid of what it would do to their own reputations if people discovered Kurt had HIV. They'd be avoided like the plague, a sad misunderstanding about a virus which struck fear into people's hearts. Logan had then explained to her that Kurt was being put on a new drug that could leave him weak, tired and vulnerable to infection and a school would be full of infection. She'd teared up imagining Kurt exhausted at the lunch table, clutching his head and breathless. She'd left the room screaming "He's not some china doll, he's a human being like the rest of you, treat him that way!"

Now she stared down at her little kindred spirit. She wanted to kiss him and make it all better but she knew her touch of all others would be a kiss of death. So sadly she retreated from the room.

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Kurt careful traversed his way down the stairs, staring at each one before he placed a foot on it. He was nervous, far more nervous than he had been attending his first day at an American school. He had two issues to hide now. The thing that really worried him was the questions. "Hey Kurt how are ya?" "Hey Kurt what was wrong?" "Hiya Kurt you feeling all better now?" "Kurt what are those pills you're taking?"

He wasn't really sure he was ready to face those types of questions. If he could just slip into normal life again without being noticed, everything would be okay. But what about Amanda? He could feel the end of their relationship near and it hurt. It hurt more than the needles, the itching, the tension in his bones and muscles. However he knew it was something he would have to face. Everyone was waiting for him with big wide smiles on their faces at the front door. He knew they were trying to make him feel better but it wasn't doing much good. Scott, very deliberately placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"Hey guy, are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked behind those quartz shades.

Kurt nodded and tried to look upbeat "Now or never eh?"

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Kitty beamed as Kurt got out of the car with her and walked towards the main building. Everything seemed like old times. Okay Kurt was a little less exuberant than he had been, but she could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. She took his arm as a comfort and he looked grateful for it.

The Brotherhood stood some way off, silently watching the re-emergence of the Nightcrawler into society. Lance growled. Kurt had been all Kitty had to talk about. Kurt this, Kurt that, she couldn't stay long because Kurt needed help with his geometry work; She'd have to skip the movies because KURT was feeling lonely! Lance was so sick of it he could puke! So he was an invalid, big deal he was still a dorky X-man and a threat to his manhood.

Kurt and Kitty finished a tiring geometry lesson and stumbled out into the hallway. The change between periods made Kurt uncomfortable, there were so many more Kids than he remembered. Not that he hadn't had to be careful with who he came in contact with before, but now although he knew it couldn't be transmitted by breath or touch, he avoided people like a virus themselves. Kitty did her best to calm him down. However he stopped at his locker in exhaustion.

"Kitty, I can't do this anymore! It's too difficult to keep up with everything!" He moaned leaning his head against the cold metal door.

Kitty leaned her head in the same manner and looked at him through his disguised eyes, tired, and dark. "Kurt, you can do it! This day will be the hardest but you're just a normal kid, there's nothing you can't do Nightcrawler" She smiled

He reciprocated with a tired imitation. "There's only one thing wrong with that Kitty…I'm not normal and neither are you." Shifting his weight he made his way towards the lunchroom with Kitty tow. Stepping in he breathed deeply, preparing himself for the throng of kids and possibly Amanda. He'd avoid her successfully so far today, but surely she'd spot him here of all places.

Someone else spotted him too. Like a flock of crows, the Brotherhood stood and watched as the newly returned X-man slowly and warily made his way into the room, Kitty clutching his arm.

Pietro stared at Lance. "Hey man, aren't you going to do something about that blue freak stepping into your territory?" Lance simply steamed in his own dark mood. Pietro waved a hand in front of his face. "hell-lo!"

Lance swiped at him. "Get outta here! What am I supposed to do huh? Shout to the world that the freak has HIV? Then Kitty'll come running back into my arms? Get real!"

Pietro looked thoughtful for a second before racing around the other side of Freddy Dukes and shouting at the tope of his lungs.

"HEY EVERYBODY! KURT WAGNER HAS AIDS!"

The whole room grew silent for a moment, as all eyes turned on Kurt. He looked absolutely terrified, his eyes bulging from their sockets. There was no noise, people just stared at him. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak he just felt the heat rising to his cheek and the bile rising from his stomach. Before he could control it he vomited all over the tiled floor. The student body gasped and moaned. Kitty stepped back slightly shocked. Holding his stomach Kurt ran from the room, not caring what anyone saw or thought. Finding an empty corridor he teleported to the institute. Back in the dinner hall, kids pushed each other out of the way to get as far from the puddle of sick as they could. They thought they could get the virus from being near it. Scott rose from the table he and the other students had been sitting at and looked around. There was Amanda as shocked and dumbfounded as Kurt had looked. People were viewing her as a risk too, leaving her in isolation. Principle Kelly appeared in a doorway and apprehended a protesting Pietro Maximoff. Kitty stared at Lance drawing him daggers with her eyes. Storming up to him she slapped him as hard she could.

"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!" Lance was still reeling from the force of the slap as he grasped his jaw. "You're a liar and I hate you! You've ruined Kurt's life!"

Lance took the defensive and grabbed Kitty by the wrist "Hey Kitty he ruined my life first you know!"

Kitty glared at him "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You think I liked being second place to your little invalid? You don't have any time for me anyone!" He yelled pulling her close.

Kitty wrenched herself away from him and stood square and offensive "Yeah you're right, I don't have time for you!" With that she stormed away in hope of finding Kurt before he hurt himself.

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Kurt flung himself in tears on the covers of his bed. Curling into a ball he wept bitterly. Now he couldn't even pretend he was normal anymore. He could never be close to another human being again, not after this. Ororo launched herself to the doorway to find Kurt in a bundle on his bed.

"Kurt?" The weather witch sat on the edge of his bed. "Scott called and told us what happened. I'm so sorry my child" Logan joined her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Kurt stayed where we was shaking with tears ignoring both of them.

"Hey elf…your mom and dad are here, they flew in this morning. I think you should see them"

Kurt went very still. The two tutors just stared at each other. Logan nodded to the two figures in the doorway. "Sylvie, Kurt, please come in"

Mrs Wagner gushed as she saw her little boy curled up like a baby on the sheet. He twisted into her arms and clutched her tightly. His father pulled both arms around his family and looked for all-the-world as though he too might cry.

"Mama!" Kurt wailed as she rocked him back and forth. They spoke comforting words in German, simply holding each other. Logan and Ororo left the room.

Halfway down the corridor Ororo burst into tears and Logan took her in his arms. "Oh Logan. How do we tell those poor people exactly what's wrong with their son?"

Logan held her head against his cheek and felt the soft snowy hair brush his skin. "Don't worry Ro, Chuck's a telepath he'll know the best way to tell them and in their own language too. But there ain't no easy way to say it, is there?"

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At quarter to eight that night the doorbell rang. Evan who had been watching T.V in the lounge heaved himself off the floor and keeping his eyes on the screen answered the door.

"yeeeellow?" He said with a mouthful of peanut butter cups. He glanced at the visitor and nearly dropped what was in his mouth. "Amanda? What are you doing here?"

"I came as soon as I could Evan, please I need to see Kurt!" She looked really shaken.

Evan scratched the back of his head "Look I dunno Amanda, Kurt doesn't wanna see anyone right now. He's pretty depressed, we all tried to get in to see him but he's just pushing everyone out; even his own parents"

"His mom and Dad flew over here?" She asked with a little surprised but the second she thought about it, she realised how serious it was "Look Evan I'm going to see him right now" She pushed past him and scaled the stairs. Walking along the corridor she found Kurt's bedroom and paused before knocking. There was no answer. She knocked again, this time a little harder.

"Go away" Came the weak reply. Opening the door timidly, Amanda surveyed the room. A bible was strewn across the floor as were a number of CDs and photographs; Kurt himself was curled into a foetal position on his bed, his tail flicked impatiently on the bedcovers the only sign that she was bothering him.

"Kurt, it's me Amanda. Can I come in?" She pushed further in the door. Kurt sat up as quickly as he could and swung his legs over the opposite side of the bed, turning his back to her.

"I didn't want to see anyone" He said, his voice unusually unstable.

"Kurt I just…I wanted to come and see how you were and to let you know something" Amanda hesitated before entering the room and closing the door behind her. She approached his slumped figure and once again paused before wrapping her arms around his middle.

The Nightcrawler pushed her away frantically "Don't touch me!" He hissed, his tail lashing in frustration as he leapt on top of his windowsill. Amanda stood dejectedly in the middle of his room.

"Kurt I just want you to know that this changes nothing, I still…I still want to be your girlfriend, I don't care what everyone else thinks!" She said passionately, feeling tears on the edge of her voice.

"Amanda this isn't about what other people think" He too was choked up knowing he had to give up the best thing that had happened since finding out Jesus loved him. "I'm going to die of this"

The tone of Kurt's voice scared Amanda out of her wits. "No you're not Kurt, please don't shut me out, I love you, please!" She pleaded tears welling up in her eyes. This wasn't her Kurt and if he sent her away now, he would be lost to her forever.

"Amanda just go and forget about me. I don't want to hurt you." He felt so utterly overwhelmed with heartache he just wanted to die right there on the spot. He was saying goodbye to everything that made the world a bearable place. He didn't want to run away but he couldn't take it; he couldn't take the look in her eyes, the pounding of his heart for the loss he would know forever more.

Amanda stood quietly for a moment, before it all became too much for her. Suppressing the lump that was threatening to choke her, she spoke quietly. "If that's what you truly want me to do, I'll go Kurt, but…please remember I'll always love you." Kurt clenched his teeth.

Escaping the situation in the only way he knew how, he teleported, leaving Amanda on her own.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A week after the arrival of Kurt's parents, many things had happened to the unusual student body of Xavier's school for the gifted. After the revelation of Kurt's mystery illness, Principle Kelly had insisted that all of the students at Xavier's school be tested for HIV or AIDS before he'd let them continue attending Bayville High. Fortunately for them and their reputations, their results had come up negative; so the stigma didn't affect Kurt's friends to his relief. However by shutting Amanda out of his life Kurt had delved to the depths of depression. Unwilling to rise in the morning and unable to sleep at night he had no energy to get exercise, nor the interest to study the materials he needed. Sylvie, Kurt, Ororo, Logan and Xavier could do nothing but stand and watch as the formerly enthusiastic, energetic, and upbeat Kurt Wagner they knew became nothing but an empty shell. It was then that Sylvie Wagner approached Kitty Pride as she sat doing homework in her room one night.

Knocking softly on the door, Sylvie waited patiently before she heard the loud volume of the pop music quieten and the dark haired young girl appear at the door.

"Oh hey Mrs Wagner, come in" Kitty said inviting her visitor in to a seat on Rogue's bed. "What can I do for you?"

Sylvie smiled gently as he fidgeted with the small string of pearls she wore. "I just wanted to speak with you Kitty." She looked at a picture of Kitty and her parents which sat on the girl's bedside table. "What did your parents think when they found you were a mutant?" The woman's German accent made her speech hard to understand.

"Oh, well my mom and dad weren't thrilled; they thought something was wrong with me. At first they wouldn't believe that I was, like, a mutant. I think they imagined something with slime and goo and stuff" Kitty shrugged, not having really analysed her parent's reaction.

Mrs Wagner looked confused "Goo?"

Kitty giggled "Uh never mind" She said waving a hand submissively.

The woman nodded understanding that it probably didn't translate well. She smiled looking at a little teddy bear she had brought into the room with her. "It was very clear when Kurt floated down the river to our doorstep, that he was not a normal human being. He was like baby Moses in a basket. Our little Kurt was blessing, even in his shape and form. You see Kurt and I were unable to have children and we prayed constantly for the Lord to deliver us a baby. Little Kurt was the answer to that prayer."

Kitty smiled and nodded "Kurt is a blessing to all of us, I mean, he is just such a nice guy even although his mutation could've made him really bitter"

Sylvie stroked the teddy. "I always told him that Jesus made him that way because he wanted to show the world that he loved everyone. That is why Kurt is the pleasant boy he is" The realisation that something was really wrong with her little boy suddenly seemed to dawn on her as her face became ashen and she dropped the teddy she held.

Kitty rushed to her side as she slumped to the floor, sobs shaking her slight form. She paused before putting her arms around the older woman. Kitty was overwhelmed; this was her friend Kurt, this was his life and his death in the balance! He couldn't be one of the X men anymore; he wouldn't be there to rescue her when she was in over her head. He wouldn't be there to hog the bathroom, to beat her on the Playstation, annoy her with his music or to make her laugh in class. He would slowly waste away until he eventually ran out of life. Before she realised it, Kitty was being comforted by Mrs Wagner as she cried into her shoulder.

"Kitty" Mrs Wagner prised her gently from her shoulder. "Please help Kurt. He needs a friend more than anything. I am his mother, I can only do so much for him. Please don't let him lose sight of Jesus Christ"

Kitty looked into the watery eyes of a distraught mother and felt a fear grip her heart. Jesus Christ? Kitty didn't want to tell Mrs Wagner in her fragile state that she wasn't a Christian. All she knew about Jesus Christ was that he was born on Christmas day and he died on a cross. What could she do to help Kurt maintain his faith? But she nodded anyway.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Kitty found that accessing Kurt was increasingly difficult. He'd confined himself to his room, even shutting his mother and father out of his life, much to their despair. The professor had started Kurt on a new course of drugs called D4t. They gave him constant headaches, nausea and palpitations, but he was told they would help build up his t-cell count and help him stay healthier for longer. It started with her bringing him his meals and progressed as she would stay longer and longer just to chat and spend time with him. Sylvie Wagner noticed a significant improvement in her son. He worked harder to keep up his physical fitness, felt more energetic and spent more time with his friends. Slowly she was getting her little boy back. However both Kurt and Sylvie knew that their little Kurt would never be the same again.

Kurt stepped out of the shower onto the padded mat and reached for his towel. Pushing his damp hair out of his face, he sniffed. The colder air slowly began to seep through his fur, but his skin beneath was so hot, it only stung slightly. Kurt sat down on the lid of the toilet and rested his head against the wall. He was so tired. He'd being exercising with weights today with Wolverine a.k.a the Slave Driver. Although his bones ached he knew he'd been feeling better lately and not just physically. Kitty had made an effort to spend time with him. He had decided not to talk to her since she had told Lance about his condition, but forgave her when he heard what his parents were saying about her. No one his parents thought well of could be worth ignoring. He was glad now that he had forgiven her. She had been a constant companion to him, when he was feeling at his loneliest. This was a loneliness he could only blame himself for. After all the heartache which made him feel weaker than a mouse, he had caused by pushing Amanda away. She'd promised to love him unconditionally but he couldn't rely on her for the support she'd have to give him. He couldn't risk passing his curse onto her. What kind of future could they have had anyway?

Kurt stood and dried himself off as the last of the steam began to dissipate. There was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Kurt called, as a fist accidentally phased through the door.

With a smile he heard "Oops! Oh uh it's Kitty. Come on hurry up! It won't be worthy our while going unless you get a move on!"

"Okay!" he called pulling a selection of clothes on. Kitty had organised some sort of day out for them today to have a break from the Institute. Tying back his hair from his face, he reached for the tub of pills on the ledge. Emptying a pill onto his palm he stared at it ruefully. These were the only things between health and death. The thing Kurt feared more than death itself was the almost inevitable eventuality of AIDS. He hated the idea that he wouldn't be able to recover from even a common cold and that his family and friends would have to watch him die slowly. He'd been closer to Rogue than he'd ever been and he couldn't face leaving her and his mother and father. Strangely enough he hadn't even thought about Magneto's involvement in his condition. Whatever he had done to him, he doubted that it was ever intended that Kurt should end up with HIV. Therefore he found it hard to attach blame to the mutant. Kitty was dumbfounded by this.

Pulling on a black turtle-neck, Kurt thought about Kitty. He'd resigned himself to the fact that he could never a close romantic relationship ever again because of his illness, but it had done more than poison his body. Kurt wasn't sure if he could put his heart in someone else's hands. His confidence and self-esteem had been raped from him by this disease. Even when he had been going out with Amanda he could never shake the chemistry he and Kitty had had; but he was too afraid to even let himself feel anything. His heart still pounded when she touched him, his pupils still widened when he saw her and his damaged blood still raced through his veins when she spoke. Kurt said a silent prayer to God of thanks for his life and made towards the door.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Kitty, having just passed her driving lessons all but leapt into the driving seat while Kurt quietly opened and closed the door to Scott's red Viper. Once they were ready Kitty's face creased in concentration as she revved the engine. Kurt watched her as she prepared the car to pull out of the garage. It had been a whole year since he had been diagnosed with HIV and he and Kitty had grown since then. Her hair hung in straight sleek tresses to her shoulders where it was neatly trimmed. Those vibrant blue eyes of hers were focused on the wing mirror as she adjusted it from Scott's viewpoint to her own. Her little button nose was turning red as the chilly October air nipped at it, making Kurt smile. Pushing her striped scarf over her shoulder she smiled brightly, her breath clouding in the air.

"Are we ready?"

Kurt nodded and a second later they had pulled out of the garage into the October morning. The leaves on the trees had changed to russets, golds and scarlets and the air had acquired a burnt smell to it. Kitty pushed the button which lowered the roof into its concealed compartment.

"Let's roll!" Kitty cried in delight and pulled out down the driveway of the Xavier Institute.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Kitty reached inside the bag Kurt held open for her, and clenched a handful of breadcrumbs. Throwing them feebly onto the pond, a collection of ducks bobbed about in a throng fighting over the leftovers of Kurt and Kitty's picnic sinking from the surface. Large droplets of rain began to fall heavily on the surface of the water

Kurt chuckled and Kitty whirled around to glare at him "What're you laughing at Mr Wagner?" She accused.

The young mutant laughed even harder behind his holo-projector. "What kind of throw was that?"

Kitty sniggered "A wimpy girly throw, just like one of yours Kurt-ina"

Kurt pushed his hand inside the bag and grasped a clump of crumbs. Throwing them as hard as he could, he pelted them over the heads of the eager ducks. However the force of his throw tipped him off balance, and Kurt fell head first into the dark film of the pond. Kitty screamed and waded in to help Kurt to his feet in the shallow water. Kurt yelled in shock and embarrassment as a surprised smile burst out on his face. Kitty's own reaction was a little more serious.

"Kurt! Are you okay?" She gasped feeling the freezing water flood into her shoes. Kurt leaned heavily on her and she felt the contraction and relaxation of his lithe body against hers, blushing.

Kurt roared with laughed as his breath hitched from the temperature of the water. "I'm fine! Just get me out of this duckpond!"

They both burst into laughter as the ridiculous nature of the situation occurred to them.

A few minutes later, they sat in Scott's car, its hood readjusted to cover them. Kitty wore a shawl around her as she squirmed out of her soaked trousers. Kurt diverted his eyes as her shapely fleshy legs appeared from beneath the heavy wet denim.

She glanced up at the young man next to her who stared out of the rain-smeared window. "Kurt, you'd better get out of those clothes, you can't afford to catch a cold."

He whipped around and stared at her. "What?" He asked incredulously.

Kitty blushed "Come on Kurt, we've seen each other in our swimwear, this isn't any worse" She said excusing herself, though she too noticed the situation and its awkward nature.

Kurt however saw the sense in her argument, and began to undress. Peeling off the sodden sweater he wore, he took his t-shirt with it, exposing his toned abdomen. Eyes focused on what his hands did, he was aware of Kitty's eyes on him too, and he blushed. Undoing his zip with his tri-dactyl hands, he slid the baggy jeans from his legs, he did not however consider removing his soaked underpants as an option. Pulling the blanket he found in the back seat, firmly about him, he looked anywhere but the girl next to him. Kitty could feel her face turning a crimson hue. The only noise was the rain pitter-pattering on the roof of the convertible. Picking up her own trousers and socks, Kitty placed them flat on the dashboard and turned on the hot air.

Kitty glanced over at Kurt as the blanket slid slightly from his shoulder; he too noticed and glanced at her as he pulled it tight about him. "Uh, do you wanna dry off your clothes?" She asked gesturing to them. He nodded and handed them to her, his long fingers brushing her slender ones. The contact locked their eyes to one another. She pulled away slightly, laying his clothes over the steering wheel and dashboard. Once again they sat in silence.

"Ummm…is your shirt wet?" Kurt asked at length, noticing that Kitty's wet hair had soaked the shoulders of her blue long sleeved shirt. Kitty glanced at the wet patches and sighed

"Yup you're right…uh…" She started to unbutton it but paused. Clambering through the gap between the seats she brushed Kurt's arm with her thigh. She froze for second but plopped down on the back seat without saying anything. Kurt was in agony as he heard the material stretch and pull against her body. Her head appeared back through the gap with the shawl pulled around her neck. With some difficulty and awkwardness she sat back down in the driving seat. Kurt looked at her; she was beautiful, so rosy and full of life; she blushed from the heat that was rapidly rising in the car. As Kurt turned to the window again, his seat squeaked. He resumed staring out the window, watching as the rain trickled an unsteady path down the glass. Kitty watched him. His indigo hair, tied back in a short ponytail was wet and curled around the back of his elfin ear. His profile betrayed a soul that was older than its years due to so many sad and tragic circumstances.

Kitty laid her head back against the headrest and sighed "It's beginning to get warmer in here huh?" She commented. Her reply was the silence of the small convertible. She opened an eye and observed the Nightcrawler. He was either ignoring her or simply didn't hear what she had said. From his steady breathing and slumped posture against the car door she suspected the latter. "Kurt?"

Kurt roused from his daydream and turned to her. I t was the first time she noticed how tired his eyes looked; how furrowed his brow had become and dry his cracked his lips were. "Kurt are you alright?" She asked, anxiety rising in her throat.

He nodded slowly, his face still sombre as though he hadn't heard what she was really asking. There was silence again as Kitty observed her friend, now a shell of his former self. His head hung slightly, as he fought to stay awake against the hypnotising heat of the car.

"Kurt" Kitty ventured again, sitting up straight and squeaking in the leather chair. "Kurt, look, I'm here for you if you need to talk about this. I know it's been a year, but you've never really had it out in the open." Kitty let her offer hang in the clammy air as Kurt stared at his strange hands.

He caught her off guard by staring thoughtfully at her. "By "it" you mean my AIDS?" He said harshly. Kitty recoiled slightly; this brash attitude wasn't what she was used to with him. He noted her reaction and a sad look came over his face. A life time of people backing off hurt. He sighed deeply and painfully. "If you want the truth Kitty, I'm terrified." Kurt had never said as much to anyone, but in this small car, the rain trapping him inside with his best and dearest friend, he felt secure. Kitty noticed the tremble in his voice and believed him whole heartedly.

"I know what's going to happen to me," he looked up, those pale golden eyes wide in fear "and I'm not ready for it" He could feel the salty tears leaking from their ducts. Soon his vision was clouded. "I'm not ready to die Kitty" He whispered, unable to control the pressure that restricted his throat or the tremble he felt wracking his limps. He felt her hands disturb the short fur of his neck and glanced up at her in his peripheral vision.

"Kurt, you should have told me this was how you felt" She said softly, craning her neck to see his face. He wiped roughly at his eyes, feeling totally embarrassed by his show of emotion, but the tears kept spilling.

"I **know** that I'm going to heaven when I die, Kitty, but there are so many things I haven't learned, so many things I haven't done." He paused briefly, looking up at her with a deep agony in his heart. "So many people I'll never see again."

Kitty looked at him and knew what he meant, she glanced away, not knowing how to bear up to that pressure. "I'm sorry Kurt."

He smirked as he stared at his hands, "I mean it's not like I wanted to get married and have kids" He said sarcastically, his expression of humour slipping. "But I don't have a choice now, I can never be close to anyone…not in the way I'd like to be…not the way I would as a husband" He rambled not caring what it sounded like.

Turning her head abruptly, Kitty stared at him. "What? You can still be intimate with someone Kurt, you just have to be careful and use protection."

Kurt glanced up at her his eyes red and puffy and made a face; she knew his stance on certain birth control, marriage and children. "That's why I pushed Amanda away." He searched her eyes. "Kitty you don't think I'd put someone I cared about through this hell, do you?"

Kitty scanned his face and shook her head sadly; she could see the logic in what he said. Looking out of the blurred windshield she uttered quietly. "But maybe someone who loves you would think it was worth the risk."

Kurt sighed "I'm not sure that she loved me Kitty. How could she?"

Kitty felt a lump in her throat. That wasn't what she meant.

Catching his eye, she turned to look at him. The flushed skin of her cheeks brightened her blue eyes and darkened her damp tendrils of hair. Kitty's eyes rested on Kurt's lips. Kurt simply stared at her, his gold eyes a beautiful shade, contrasting his midnight fur.

They sat for an instant in silence before Kitty turned the key in the ignition.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Kitty helped Kurt to the top of the landing. His clothes were still slightly damp, but he'd be getting into his pyjamas soon enough he told himself. They stopped at his door. Opening it he surveyed the dark stillness. Kitty peered in after him. They stood in silence for a moment.

"I had a great day today Kitty, thank you" he said smiling tiredly.

Kitty grinned "Me too Kurt, even getting wet wasn't too bad eh?" She realised what had been insinuated by her statement and blushed. "I uh, didn't uh"

Kurt smiled bashfully. They met each other's gaze and held it. Kitty leaned towards him and pressed her lips against his. Kurt pushed her off him, and grabbed a hold of her shoulders.

"Kitty! What are you doing?" he yelped staring into her wide eyes.

Kitty looked up at him, her face betraying the nervousness she felt. "You didn't get it did you?" Kurt's panic ebbed a little, but he still stared at her, his emotions fiercely battling. Kitty looked at her feet and felt a blush emerge on her cheeks. "I have…strong feelings for you Kurt."

Kurt stared at her, his stomach leaping inside him. For so many years he had waited to hear her say that. Amanda was the most wonderful person he had ever met and he was so happy with her. Kitty however had always held his heart. Always. But the reality of the situation soured his pleasant feelings.

He held her at arms length. "Kitty, I…I can't do this!"

She placed her hands calmly on his. "Why not?"

He was taken aback and struggled to find words. "I…I don't want to hurt you. I care about you too much to…to…"

"To love me?" Kitty ventured, watching his every movement, expression, gesture.

Kurt became exasperated; his cheeks not fully calmed down from the sensation of her much needed lips upon his. "Kitty…don't you understand why I sent Amanda away?"

Kitty pulled Kurt close to her. He simply blinked at her. "I understand Kurt, but you have to understand something: you were my friend before any of this. I didn't walk away from you then and no matter how bad things get I'm not going to walk away now. So don't run away from me."

Kurt felt her hands venture beneath his t-shirt and stroke through the short fur adorning his body. He didn't want to repeat the heart-ache he felt with Amanda but he also knew he couldn't push Kitty away in the same way, nor did he want to. Her lips found his again and this time he responded. He pulled his arms around her and felt all of his loneliness disappear. He realised then that his Lord had not abandoned him.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Night descended upon the proud visage of the Xavier Institute for gifted children. From the shadows of a near by tree a crow landed upon the window-ledge of a West wing room. Its black opaque eyes stared at its own reflection in the glass pane. Slowly its body hanged from that of a bird into cat. Pushing its weight against the window, the feline slid in through the gap it had created. Leaping gracefully to the floor of the dark room, its true form was revealed. Mystique morphed into her natural state, lowering her eyes until she found the sleeping form of her son. He lay, clothed, on top of the covers with the still form of the young girl, Kitty Pride in his arms. They slumbered peacefully unaware of the intruder in the room.

"I was waitin' for you to show up" Mystique, startled by the voice spun around to find the dark, yet unmistakable form of the Wolverine in the door way. He leant against the frame arms folded.

"I don't want trouble Logan" She said, her tones low and dangerous.

Her breath hitched as she heard the unique sound of adamantium slicing through skin, and recognised the glint in the darkness. "Oh yeah? Well visitin' time's over Raven" He growled.

"I have a right to see my son, do I not?" She hissed at him taking a defensive stance.

He chuckled bitterly. "You gave up that right a long time ago. That's been passed over to a gentle deservin' woman sleepin' five rooms down the corridor. Remember?"

Raven Darkholme couldn't contain the words she spat at him "Don't you think I regret that everyday of my life?"

Wolverine had her by the throat in less than a second. "Then why leave it this long to come back? Huh? He could be dead for all you knew!" He growled at her. She narrowed her eyes but despite her self-will was unable to stop the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I've been watching him Wolverine. I know that he went back to school, I know that Pietro embarrassed him in front of the whole school, I saw him fall into the lake today but I couldn't help him because I was a duck at the time!" She diverted her gaze as a salty tear landed on Logan's outstretched hand. He glanced at it before letting go of her throat.

"Then why are you here?" He said lowly, retracting his claws.

Raven gazed at her sleeping child. "I'm here because my conscience won't allow me to walk away."

Wolverine felt a bitter laugh bubbling in his throat, "That's was the wrong answer bub! You were supposed to say you felt responsible and that you loved him! Don't you think that kid's be'n waitin' all his life to hear that?" Raven glanced up at him wounded by his truth "You've seen what you wanted to, now get out!" Wolverine spat, disgusted at the woman before him.

Raven stared levelly at him, admitting to herself that her reasons were probably less than admirable, even to a character such as Wolverine. Turning to her son she bent over Kitty and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, her fingers brushed the strangely familiar skin of his face and she felt a lump grow in her throat. Leaning forward she did something she hadn't done in seventeen years; she kissed her child's forehead. The tender touch roused Kurt from his slumber. His gold eyes fluttered open lazily and looked up half seeing.

"Mama?" He mumbled in German. Mystique looked a little taken aback. Stroking his cheek she urged him back to sleep.

"I'm sorry…my little boy" She whispered as he tumbled back into a world of sleep, this time a small smile visible on his face.

Raven straightened up and glanced at Logan "Don't ever accuse me of not loving my child, you don't know what it feels like!" She hissed struggling to keep the emotion from her voice. "Oh and don't worry-" She spoke pointedly at him "-I wont be back"

With that Raven Darkholme morphed back into her namesake and flew silently through the window and into the night. Wolverine stared at the window thoughtfully for a few seconds; his and the two teenager's breathing, the only sound. He glanced at them curled up together and smiled a sad smile. It occurred to him then that mutation carried all sorts of problems, complications and tragedies but that was life…what defined your _humanity _was the way in which you dealt with them. Checking the room over, Wolverine closed the door behind him and left the slumbering pair to the night.


End file.
